Uh...New Moon.

[foxmonkey]

OH MY GOD, KILL ME NOW. Seriously, people, I don't know if I can take another two books worth of this stuff. Well, more like 2 4/5, because 122 pages into 'New Moon', I'm ready to spork my eyes out.

::gnashing of teeth, rending of garments, throwing of books against the nearest wall::

Comments

[joeysdramaqueen.livejournal.com]

LMFAO... I HATE New Moon. With a firey passion.

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

LMFAO... I HATE New Moon. With a firey passion.

OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Honestly, I don't think I've hated a book this much in a long, long time. I honestly don't think I can finish it. ;-p

[joeysdramaqueen.livejournal.com]

oh but you have to finish!

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

oh but you have to finish!

::cries:: NO!!!! Somewhere in these comments someone suggested I skip ahead to the part about the Vo(u?)ltari, and then through to the end. I say yes! to this suggestion because seriously, I may set my hair on fire if I read much more of this thing.

[joeysdramaqueen.livejournal.com]

I know, Beth told you to skip ahead but if I had to read it, YOU have to read it! LOL (and it's Volturi. LOL)

[spasticat.livejournal.com]

same here...except haven't tossed the books with mighty force against the wall yet. these books are a zeitgeist phenomenon...that has to be why they've sold so many. and what boggles is that the babysitter and goosebumps series of books were written way better.

i'm stuck on the last twilight book. must. finish. then. mock.

the only books that are worse are those by anne rice's son. gah.

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

same here...except haven't tossed the books with mighty force against the wall yet.

Can't for the life of me remember what the book was, but it wasn't my usual fare. Jackie Collins or something like it, borrowed from a bud. I remember I read the last page, was completely boggled for a second, and then threw the thing (paperback) as hard as I could across the room, right against the wall. I left it where it fell for a full week. :-D


and what boggles is that the babysitter and goosebumps series of books were written way better.

The writing! Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! Every other sentence makes me want to cry. And then spork myself. And then cry some more...and then spork her.


the only books that are worse are those by anne rice's son. gah.

Holy crap, thanks for the warning!

[spasticat.livejournal.com]

lol on the tossing and abandoning of that one book!

regarding the twilight books...there were typos. a lot! and my copies? are thee paperbacks, several printings down from the first. WHERE WERE THE EDITORS???

now...the christopher rice book i had was a proof...but that still didn't excuse it from being implausible, incomprehensible crap! friends say the final copy and all subsequent books were equally crappy. i wonder if he's like his mom and refuses editorial input. huh, i wonder if the same goes for meyer...hmm.

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

regarding the twilight books...there were typos. a lot! and my copies? are thee paperbacks, several printings down from the first. WHERE WERE THE EDITORS???

Aiiiiii! YES! I kept wondering the same thing, where the hell was the editor hiding when this thing was in process???

i wonder if he's like his mom and refuses editorial input. huh, i wonder if the same goes for meyer...hmm.

I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to find that SM thinks that editing would hurt the writing process. I remember when I first entered fandom, I heard there were people who treated their first drafts as sacred. To that I say, "You are a lunatic, sir." Good lord.

[spasticat.livejournal.com]

anne rice's argument against using an editor is that one wouldn't impose that kind of input on an artist. ha! i liken editorial/beta input to the paint and other materials that are used in the painting process. i *use* paint but i sure as hell don't *make* the paint or gesso or the canvas. an editor is a highly talented and creative tool and the right editor complements, enhances, and brings out the talent of the author. i've got recipes for making gesso...but i'd rather buy a can of the good stuff and get to painting.

golly...so many analogies are possible. architects and the people who build the buildings and the engineers who make them safe and feasible. etc etc!

[brighton-girl.livejournal.com]

Dude, I hate that book. Just watch the movie...they somehow figured out how to take that stupid book and make a decent film.

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

Dude, I hate that book. Just watch the movie...they somehow figured out how to take that stupid book and make a decent film.

OH MY GOD, I THINK THAT YOU'RE RIGHT!!!!!!! (capslock *totally* necessary). Oh my GOD, how I hate this book. HATE IT. Makes me want to spork things and make them bleed! I'm crying, it's so awful. ::weeps::

In other news, I may have to buy the movies this weekend to wipe the hideous taste and stench of those godawful books out of my brain.

[brighton-girl.livejournal.com]

You can skip to the end when Alice takes her to Italy to get Edward...there are some pretty good Bella/Edward scenes. But all the werewolf/blank pages/hollow Bella crap in the middle is just really hard to take.

[joeysdramaqueen.livejournal.com]

Beth! DO not encourage her! She has to finish it! LOL

If I had to read about the fucking wolves so does she!

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

You can skip to the end when Alice takes her to Italy to get Edward...there are some pretty good Bella/Edward scenes.

Hooray! I think I'm going to run with this. :-D

[joeysdramaqueen.livejournal.com]

*glares*

[ibythetide.livejournal.com]

*evil cackle!!!!!!!!*

I HEAR THEY GET WORSE!!!!!!!

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

*evil cackle!!!!!!!!

LOL!

I HEAR THEY GET WORSE!!!!!!!

How in the world can they possibly get WORSE!? If what you say is true, then there really is no way on earth that I can finish these books. NO WAY.

[ibythetide.livejournal.com]

one of my good friends is an addict and she recapped the books to me when i explained there is no possible way i could read about sparkling vampires. but really, the amazingness of bella is only touched upon in new moon. her importance knows no bounds. also, some weird ficcy stuff happens? i could go in more detail but i'd rather read your reaction to you!

[teenytinyghosty.livejournal.com]

LOL LOL why are you doing this to yourself? What if your brain becomes contaminated with bad writing?!

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

LOL LOL why are you doing this to yourself? What if your brain becomes contaminated with bad writing?!

And you know what? I thought that very same thing. I don't want her awful writing to creep into my brain! Oy, I must be crazy. ::cries::

[topaz119.livejournal.com]

uh, they get worse? I mean, at some point I realized the words "grimly reading" applied to me. and then the end of the fourth book happened and... well, cleolinda has extensive thoughts on the subject that at least are funny. (also, spoilerific before you're done with the whole series.)

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

well, [info]cleolinda has extensive thoughts on the subject that at least are funny. (also, spoilerific before you're done with the whole series.)

Thanks for the tip! I accidentally spoiled myself on one thing the other day, something I was pretty sure would happen, so not too tragic. But! I'm going to have to think about this a bit more before I wander over to her LJ. Thanks, though!

[topaz119.livejournal.com]

I'd say that there's no way you could guess at the ending of the whole shebang, except that I know you've been in fandom for a long time and probably have read your share of badfic. So. Think of the most OTT vampire badfic you've ever read and kind of take it from there. It's... mesmerizing in that badfic way.

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

Think of the most OTT vampire badfic you've ever read and kind of take it from there. It's... mesmerizing in that badfic way.

ROFLMAO! See, that's the kind of thing that's making me extremely curious about spoiling myself, 'cuz I'm thinking what kind of surprise could this woman spring on me? Unless it's something like this:

Bella's secretly a werevamp from Venus and never knew and OH MY GOD, Edward is like totally her son! because Bella didn't know it but she was really born in 1604 (on Venus!) and crash landed on Earth and lived with Carlisle for a while and she might very well be Carlisle's grandmama but the test results were lost, and then...!

'Cause if it's something like that, then yeah, I'll totally be surprised. ;-)

Your description has me wanting to know how it ends. Hmmmmm. Blast you, woman! ::shakes fist::

[topaz119.livejournal.com]

Oh, hah--that gives entirely too much agency to Bella. It's more like the plot of a really bad Joshtin.

[3-jane.livejournal.com]

Wait until you get to Eclipse! :DDDDD (BTW, as long as you're getting this far, you really need to read the leaked copy of Breaking Dawn, which is Edward retelling Twilight. (No lie, it is even worse. So, ah, if you need a copy, let me know and I'll set you up.)

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

Wait until you get to Eclipse! :DDDDD

HAHAHAHAHA, you say that like I'm actually going to get that far in the series, and I'm thinking, Oh, hellz no! Also, I'm pretty much in awe of sparkle!Edward in your text there. ;-)

(BTW, as long as you're getting this far, you really need to read the leaked copy of Breaking Dawn, which is Edward retelling Twilight. (No lie, it is even worse. So, ah, if you need a copy, let me know and I'll set you up.)

Many, many ROFLs there, woman. Uh...no. A friend of mine hipped me to this one, and I say in a strong, clear voice, I REJECT, THEE, WRITINGS OF STEPHENIE MEYER, DAUGHTER OF SATAN. Seriously, I need an icon.

[joeysdramaqueen.livejournal.com]

Midnight Sun is the retelling of Twilight, Breaking Dawn is actually the 4th book. :)

[jewelianna.livejournal.com]

New Moon was not good. I think I skipped to the end where Edward reappears. I enjoyed Eclipse more because it had cool backstory on other characters. Breaking Dawn is crack, nothing good about it.

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

I think I skipped to the end where Edward reappears. I enjoyed Eclipse more because it had cool backstory on other characters. Breaking Dawn is crack

Yep, I think I'll do the skipping-to-the-end thing, something I don't think I've ever, EVAR, done before when reading.

New Moon was not good.

How much do I love that understatement? You win at life.

[timberho.livejournal.com]

My favorite paragraph from the entire Twilight Series is in New Moon towards the end. It's a hard read after Edward leaves. You really could skip until Alice shows up.

Eclipse is the best book out of all four of them. I've already told you to beware of Breaking Dawn.

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

I've already told you to beware of Breaking Dawn.

ROFL! Okay, I just got a flash of you all wispy and ghost-like, like Edward in the movies when he's trying to warn Bella away from danger.

::wispy Vicki appears, all floaty and wispy-like in Fox's bedroom::

"I've already told you to beware of Breaking Dawn..."

::wispy Vicki starts to fade out, fades back in to glare menancingly at Fox, then fades out and disappears::

[timberho.livejournal.com]

LMAO!