A year without Mom.
Oct. 1st, 2002 08:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
foxmonkeyMom died a year ago tonight. I took the day off to go to the cemetery but changed my mind. Just not quite there yet. Thought about going and how I haven't been yet, but...unh. Thinking about it gives me a headache. I'll go sometime this week, since I took the rest of the week off, but it was too much today.
I withdrew from things last year, understandably. We didn't have holidays - didn't pass out candy at Halloween, didn't cook at Thanksgiving, and didn't have Christmas. Since my mother would probably kick my butt if we did that this year - she loved the holidays, that's where I got my appreciation for the art of celebration - I'm already making plans. Thanksgiving will be small, probably just me, my father and Mr. Foxmonkey, with an invitation extended to my brother if he wants to join us. I plan on going crazy this Christmas, as that was my mom's favorite, and mine too.
The ushering in of the holidays has already begun. I went to Odd Lots today and found snowman ornaments that look like very delicate milk glass, but they're plastic! Mom probably would have rolled her eyes when I put them in the cart. ;-)
The year's flown by. I thought we'd have years to hang out and shop and talk about NSync (she was a fan), and I feel cheated that she's gone. I've mostly gotten over my anger that she's gone. I'm almost at a place where I can think about her for extended periods without tears. Almost.
If you haven't called your mom for a while, call her. Kiss her. Give her a squeeze. I'm so, so glad that I saw Mom the day before she died. We made plans to go shopping later in the week, plans to see On the Line, and I hugged her and kissed her goodbye. A little over twenty-four hours later she was gone.
I loved her so much; being a typical daughter, unfortunately, I didn't always show it. But I hope that she knew just how much I adored her.
I withdrew from things last year, understandably. We didn't have holidays - didn't pass out candy at Halloween, didn't cook at Thanksgiving, and didn't have Christmas. Since my mother would probably kick my butt if we did that this year - she loved the holidays, that's where I got my appreciation for the art of celebration - I'm already making plans. Thanksgiving will be small, probably just me, my father and Mr. Foxmonkey, with an invitation extended to my brother if he wants to join us. I plan on going crazy this Christmas, as that was my mom's favorite, and mine too.
The ushering in of the holidays has already begun. I went to Odd Lots today and found snowman ornaments that look like very delicate milk glass, but they're plastic! Mom probably would have rolled her eyes when I put them in the cart. ;-)
The year's flown by. I thought we'd have years to hang out and shop and talk about NSync (she was a fan), and I feel cheated that she's gone. I've mostly gotten over my anger that she's gone. I'm almost at a place where I can think about her for extended periods without tears. Almost.
If you haven't called your mom for a while, call her. Kiss her. Give her a squeeze. I'm so, so glad that I saw Mom the day before she died. We made plans to go shopping later in the week, plans to see On the Line, and I hugged her and kissed her goodbye. A little over twenty-four hours later she was gone.
I loved her so much; being a typical daughter, unfortunately, I didn't always show it. But I hope that she knew just how much I adored her.
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no subject
Date: 2002-10-02 08:38 pm (UTC)I know, it's like, when it first happened I looked forward and it seemed like an eternity ahead of me. But then the next thing you know it's been a week, then two months, and now a year.
Just know you're not alone and you have the love of your family and friends to surround you during this time. *hugs*
(((Diggy))) I'll be thinking of you and your family - everyone in LJ who's lost someone - during the holidays. It's lovely to have both touchable friends and online friends to help get through things. Thanks. :-)
Re:
Date: 2002-10-02 10:05 pm (UTC)