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foxmonkeyMy friends and I truly have the strangest conversations! But this is why I love them, because we have the most bizarrely wired brains EVAR.
So, the following is an IM conversation that occurred today while we tried to decide (HAHAHAHA, my friend wanted to go out the entire time, she's not fooling me) whether we wanted to go down to the cafeteria or not. Edited slightly to omit the second and third threads that wound their way into the conversation. Restaurant and waitress names have been changed. ;-)
Crazyfriend [11:03 AM]: Hello! Are you grabbing food today? I'm so hungry.
Fox [11:03 AM]: Hey woman! // Yes! I'm hungry too! Food anger!
Crazyfriend [11:03 AM]: yes, me too, especially when I look at their bad menu!
Fox [11:04 AM]: Hmmm, you're right, it's pretty sad.
[snipped: discussion about the lameness and tastelessness of cafeteria items]
Fox [11:07 AM]: Are we still walking down, or have we talked ourselves out of it? // There are veggie burgers, don't forget.
Crazyfriend [11:07 AM]: yuck. veggie burgers
Crazyfriend [11:09 AM]: I would go out, but the weather is so un-nice. oh, wait, what does Joe's Eats have? Haven't been there in ages!
Fox [11:09 AM]: I don't know! I haven't looked at the menu!
Crazyfriend [11:10 AM]:
Roasted Leg of Lamb with Cheddar Potato Cakes
Grilled Pork Loin Chops
Vegetarian Spinach Fontina Tomato Risotto
Freshly Steamed Vegetables
Gumbo
Wild Mushroom Soup
Two Chef's Creation Salads
Fresh Fruit Salad
Tossed Salad with Assorted Dressings & Toppings
Assorted Desserts & Beverage
Fox [11:10 AM]: Lamb!?
Crazyfriend [11:10 AM]: leg of lamb.
Fox [11:10 AM]: I don't think I've ever had lamb.
Crazyfriend [11:10 AM]: baaaaa baaaah
Fox [11:10 AM]: They're so cute and fluffy, I don't think I want to bite one.
Crazyfriend [11:10 AM]: me neither. and they don't taste good
Crazyfriend [11:11 AM]: hm not so good what they offer.
Fox [11:11 AM]: Wait! I've had lamb, but in gyros and kebabs with plenty of other meats and spices to make it delicious. I wonder if the lamb is left over from Easter!?
Crazyfriend [11:12 AM]: OMG
Fox [11:12 AM]: It's pretty Biblical.
Crazyfriend [11:12 AM]: would not surprise me
Fox [11:12 AM]: OY.
Crazyfriend [11:12 AM]: only the legs are left
Fox [11:13 AM]: OH MY GOD, WHAT A HORRIFYING IMAGE.
Crazyfriend [11:14 AM]: I know.
Crazyfriend [11:15 AM]: The body was sacrificed and was sent to God, so we're left with the old legs!
Fox [11:15 AM]: With their refrigerator full of little AGING lamb legs!!!
Crazyfriend [11:15 AM] Joe's Eats special! prepared by Flo
Fox [11:15 AM]: "Sent to God." We are *so* going to hell.
Crazyfriend [11:16 AM]: no, that is heaven!
Fox [11:16 AM]: The legs are going to heaven, but *we're* going to hell.
Crazyfriend [11:16 AM]: in German, "sacrifice" and "victim" are the same word! Maybe the lamb was a victim!
Fox [11:17 AM]: It's getting even more horrific by the moment.
Crazyfriend [11:17 AM]: No, the legs are going to be eaten. Only the legless body of the victim goes to heaven.
Fox [11:17 AM]: Now it's not just a sacrifice, it's a crime scene!!!
Crazyfriend [11:17 AM]: I think German incorporates what being sacrificed feels like - like being a victim.
Fox [11:17 AM]: So...there are millions of fluffy little legless lambs rolling around in the meadows of heaven?
Crazyfriend [11:18 AM]: That is right. And all the legs are under Flo's control in Joe's Eats.
Crazyfriend [11:18 AM]: OMG, rolling!
Crazyfriend [11:18 AM]: Some of them, the ones who can afford it, actually have skateboards.
Fox [11:18 AM]: I'M SAVING THIS CONVERSATION.
Fox [11:19 AM]: Okay, the legs are under Flo's control...ZOMBIE LAMB LEGS.
Crazyfriend [11:19 AM]: Flo's always been creepy. I am not surprised!
Fox [11:19 AM]: She's got them serving drinks and taking bills to the tables.
Crazyfriend [11:20 AM]: omg!!! the little lamb leg helpers!
Fox [11:20 AM]: Little ZOMBIE lamb leg helpers!!!!! It's all too terrible for words.
Crazyfriend [11:20 AM]: it makes so much sense though! Do you think Flo will go to heaven or to hell?
Fox [11:21 AM]: Well, if she's got control of the zombie lamb legs, probably hell. But the legs will go to heaven after they're released from Flo's control.
Crazyfriend [11:22 AM]: That is right, it is not the legs' fault what Flo is doing to them. So they will still go eventually. The legs are just victims.
Fox [11:22 AM]: Yes, the sacrifices are victims, as the German language so wisely illustrates.
Fox [11:23 AM]: So we're going downstairs because the lamb legs are too (old) depressing?
Crazyfriend [11:23 AM]: I agree, they did a good job putting those two meanings into one
Crazyfriend [11:23 AM]: I'm ready. I'll go anywhere
Fox [11:23 AM]: LOL! I'm on my way down, crazy woman.
Crazyfriend [11:23 AM]: You want to go somewhere else? wait. there's this best Indian restaurant ever
Fox [11:24 AM]: Where?
Crazyfriend [11:24 AM]: I can't say because then you won't go because it is too far
Fox [11:24 AM]: LOL! Are we going out? I'll bring my purse if we are.
Crazyfriend [11:25 AM]: yes, let's go out (if you like). I will drive to India
Fox [11:25 AM]: Hooray! I've always wanted to visit but I didn't want to fly!
Crazyfriend [11:25 AM]: Or we'll take our magic carpets. rugs, I suppose
Fox [11:26 AM]: Or the sparkly handbaskets that we're riding to HELL.
Crazyfriend [11:26 AM]: we can put our lamb leg prosthesis on and run as fast as lambs!
Fox [11:26 AM]: I seriously almost choked on my laughter. I wish it were Friday, because I need to go home from the laughing.
So, the following is an IM conversation that occurred today while we tried to decide (HAHAHAHA, my friend wanted to go out the entire time, she's not fooling me) whether we wanted to go down to the cafeteria or not. Edited slightly to omit the second and third threads that wound their way into the conversation. Restaurant and waitress names have been changed. ;-)
Crazyfriend [11:03 AM]: Hello! Are you grabbing food today? I'm so hungry.
Fox [11:03 AM]: Hey woman! // Yes! I'm hungry too! Food anger!
Crazyfriend [11:03 AM]: yes, me too, especially when I look at their bad menu!
Fox [11:04 AM]: Hmmm, you're right, it's pretty sad.
[snipped: discussion about the lameness and tastelessness of cafeteria items]
Fox [11:07 AM]: Are we still walking down, or have we talked ourselves out of it? // There are veggie burgers, don't forget.
Crazyfriend [11:07 AM]: yuck. veggie burgers
Crazyfriend [11:09 AM]: I would go out, but the weather is so un-nice. oh, wait, what does Joe's Eats have? Haven't been there in ages!
Fox [11:09 AM]: I don't know! I haven't looked at the menu!
Crazyfriend [11:10 AM]:
Roasted Leg of Lamb with Cheddar Potato Cakes
Grilled Pork Loin Chops
Vegetarian Spinach Fontina Tomato Risotto
Freshly Steamed Vegetables
Gumbo
Wild Mushroom Soup
Two Chef's Creation Salads
Fresh Fruit Salad
Tossed Salad with Assorted Dressings & Toppings
Assorted Desserts & Beverage
Fox [11:10 AM]: Lamb!?
Crazyfriend [11:10 AM]: leg of lamb.
Fox [11:10 AM]: I don't think I've ever had lamb.
Crazyfriend [11:10 AM]: baaaaa baaaah
Fox [11:10 AM]: They're so cute and fluffy, I don't think I want to bite one.
Crazyfriend [11:10 AM]: me neither. and they don't taste good
Crazyfriend [11:11 AM]: hm not so good what they offer.
Fox [11:11 AM]: Wait! I've had lamb, but in gyros and kebabs with plenty of other meats and spices to make it delicious. I wonder if the lamb is left over from Easter!?
Crazyfriend [11:12 AM]: OMG
Fox [11:12 AM]: It's pretty Biblical.
Crazyfriend [11:12 AM]: would not surprise me
Fox [11:12 AM]: OY.
Crazyfriend [11:12 AM]: only the legs are left
Fox [11:13 AM]: OH MY GOD, WHAT A HORRIFYING IMAGE.
Crazyfriend [11:14 AM]: I know.
Crazyfriend [11:15 AM]: The body was sacrificed and was sent to God, so we're left with the old legs!
Fox [11:15 AM]: With their refrigerator full of little AGING lamb legs!!!
Crazyfriend [11:15 AM] Joe's Eats special! prepared by Flo
Fox [11:15 AM]: "Sent to God." We are *so* going to hell.
Crazyfriend [11:16 AM]: no, that is heaven!
Fox [11:16 AM]: The legs are going to heaven, but *we're* going to hell.
Crazyfriend [11:16 AM]: in German, "sacrifice" and "victim" are the same word! Maybe the lamb was a victim!
Fox [11:17 AM]: It's getting even more horrific by the moment.
Crazyfriend [11:17 AM]: No, the legs are going to be eaten. Only the legless body of the victim goes to heaven.
Fox [11:17 AM]: Now it's not just a sacrifice, it's a crime scene!!!
Crazyfriend [11:17 AM]: I think German incorporates what being sacrificed feels like - like being a victim.
Fox [11:17 AM]: So...there are millions of fluffy little legless lambs rolling around in the meadows of heaven?
Crazyfriend [11:18 AM]: That is right. And all the legs are under Flo's control in Joe's Eats.
Crazyfriend [11:18 AM]: OMG, rolling!
Crazyfriend [11:18 AM]: Some of them, the ones who can afford it, actually have skateboards.
Fox [11:18 AM]: I'M SAVING THIS CONVERSATION.
Fox [11:19 AM]: Okay, the legs are under Flo's control...ZOMBIE LAMB LEGS.
Crazyfriend [11:19 AM]: Flo's always been creepy. I am not surprised!
Fox [11:19 AM]: She's got them serving drinks and taking bills to the tables.
Crazyfriend [11:20 AM]: omg!!! the little lamb leg helpers!
Fox [11:20 AM]: Little ZOMBIE lamb leg helpers!!!!! It's all too terrible for words.
Crazyfriend [11:20 AM]: it makes so much sense though! Do you think Flo will go to heaven or to hell?
Fox [11:21 AM]: Well, if she's got control of the zombie lamb legs, probably hell. But the legs will go to heaven after they're released from Flo's control.
Crazyfriend [11:22 AM]: That is right, it is not the legs' fault what Flo is doing to them. So they will still go eventually. The legs are just victims.
Fox [11:22 AM]: Yes, the sacrifices are victims, as the German language so wisely illustrates.
Fox [11:23 AM]: So we're going downstairs because the lamb legs are too (old) depressing?
Crazyfriend [11:23 AM]: I agree, they did a good job putting those two meanings into one
Crazyfriend [11:23 AM]: I'm ready. I'll go anywhere
Fox [11:23 AM]: LOL! I'm on my way down, crazy woman.
Crazyfriend [11:23 AM]: You want to go somewhere else? wait. there's this best Indian restaurant ever
Fox [11:24 AM]: Where?
Crazyfriend [11:24 AM]: I can't say because then you won't go because it is too far
Fox [11:24 AM]: LOL! Are we going out? I'll bring my purse if we are.
Crazyfriend [11:25 AM]: yes, let's go out (if you like). I will drive to India
Fox [11:25 AM]: Hooray! I've always wanted to visit but I didn't want to fly!
Crazyfriend [11:25 AM]: Or we'll take our magic carpets. rugs, I suppose
Fox [11:26 AM]: Or the sparkly handbaskets that we're riding to HELL.
Crazyfriend [11:26 AM]: we can put our lamb leg prosthesis on and run as fast as lambs!
Fox [11:26 AM]: I seriously almost choked on my laughter. I wish it were Friday, because I need to go home from the laughing.
