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[Pieced together from email messages and a message board post or two because I am the laziest LJer ever, and writing about Torchwood gets me all whipped into a frenzy. Why whip myself into a new frenzy, when I can recycle old vats of bile? I give you The Foxmonkey Torchwood Ramblings, TM.]



If Gwen crossed over into the Doctor Who universe, I'd stop watching the show. Immediately.

Gwen and Jack are completely mismatched and would be hideously wrong together, no matter what the writers think. If they ever hook up, I may have to stop watching.

I hate Gwen. I hate that she has more screentime than everyone else, including John Barrowman, who's the reason I started watching the show. I hate that when Jack is onscreen, his time is monopolized by Gwen. She's way too over the Mary Sue line for me to connect with her as a character. I love it when Jack rips into her -- and that's probably really evil of me.

OH MY GOD, I want to smack them all (except Jack) sometimes, and if he's paired up with Gwen next season, I'll want to smack him all the time. And possibly boot him in the ass as well. We'll see.

Ianto is just too adorable and I want to eat him with a spoon. I'd like to see him take Gwen's place in the field; Gwen could have the major domo duties since she likes all that linear thinking and by-the-book stuff. ;-)

Overall though, I like the show and I cannot wait until the fabulous Martha Jones (from Doctor Who season three) shows up. Much love for Martha! I'm gay not only for Martha, but for the adorably gorgeous actress who portrays her, the adorably gorgeous Freema Agyeman. Freema is my official new girl crush. But I digress.

I love when people are open about any- and everything. I admire flexibility, openness, the ability to approach a problem in more than one way. Fixed thinking drives me batty! Gwen's constant policewoman approach to things just bugs me. She's not a cop anymore, and she's working with an agency that's about as un-coplike as it gets. I wish they'd let her shake off some of that mental baggage.

Also, others may disagree, but if Torchwood has a heart, it's Ianto. Various thoughts to irritating crap in various episodes...

5. Small Worlds

If I'd had a gun I'd have shot my TV when Jack's old flame died and Gwen stayed right there as if she had some right to intrude on his grief. And the questions! MY GOD WOMAN, SHUT UP! She's horribly self-important.

All that boohooing about not having to worry about being stalked when she was a cop...well, go back to policework, then. Either stop complaining about the kitchen you're in, or go back to the kitchen you're used to. Yes, she irks me just a bit. ;-)

How much do I love the pterodactyl? That's one of the best things ever. It reinforces the idea they brought up with the fairies -- wild things far older than we know are still amongst us. I love that.

I hit the Mary Sue wall when they examined the prisoner in the cell. Tosh laid out all the specifics, but Gwen's the only one who put two and two together that you don't need necessarily need to be strangled in order to choke to death? COME ON. We all saw 'Silence of the Lambs.' ;-) Yes, it was very police procedurely, but I'd also like to see things done more as a group. Owen's the doctor, it would have been nice if that scene had been geared to show his knowledge of the subject.

6. Countrycide

Oddly enough, I actually liked it when Gwen and Owen got together. It was nice watching her fall from that high horse she's been prancing around on. Smug, moralizing cow.

8. They Keep Killing Suzie

I hate that Susie spent half the episode moaning about how Gwen was so special and smart and yakkity shmakkity whatever else she said. In true Mary Sue fashion, Gwen put on the Death Glove and *wazoom!* it worked for her right off the bat (a little too well). Also, what kind of a doofus would smuggle a known killer out of a secure (hahaha) station and take her on a road trip? If I were Jack, her ass would have been fired and heavily retconned for that stunt. If Gwen's the best and the brightest, I fear for the future of the planet. Way to kill Suzie's dad, you idiot.

9. Random Shoes

Also in classic Mary Sue form, Gwen (naturally) was the one Eugene crushed on.

Date: 2007-11-20 04:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxmonkey.livejournal.com
I started looking for bits to quote and gave up because IT IS ALL TRUTH.

No accountability at all. She does whatever the hell she feels is Moral and Correct at the time, damn the fallout.

That thing with Suzie amazed me. I'd expect that from some naive teen (or a four year old), but a woman who used to be a cop, for crying out loud? Are you serious? That one episode contained more idiocy than should be legally allowed on TV. Well...that one and the others I mentioned.

I kept waiting for her to choke on the pizza as she cried. Sadly, it didn't happen. :-(

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