Movie critiques. Why stop now?
Jul. 5th, 2004 06:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
foxmonkeyI have just watched the slashiest movie ever made. Ever. Bar none. *The* slashiest. It's The Return of the King, for those of you who don't know. I bought the DVD a week or so ago, and I've been looking forward to watching it.
There's three hours and 20 minutes of my life I won't get back. ::grrrr::
But before I jump into that, here's a PSA for anyone who missed JC's Faking the Video the first (second, eighty-fifth) times around - it's on again tonight at 8:30 p.m. Woohoo!
Cutting for those who still haven't seen it, or have no interest in my *fascinating* thoughts on this movie.
I read in someone's LJ - in comments to something else, I think - that if left up to them, they'd have trimmed a half hour off RotK. DUDE, why stop there? I could probably cut a good hour off the thing.
Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Too long, waaaaaay too long! I wonder if Peter Jackson just couldn't bear to let go? The thing won eleven Oscars and has been vindicated, but YIKES, that was way too long. He could have tightened it up, easily.
And I hate, hate, hate movies that end multiple times. There's no way I'm going to load it up to count, but there must have been at least four endings. Aragorn was crowned king. The Hobbits went back to the Shire. The Hobbits left the Shire. Bilbo and Frodo sail away with the Elves. Sam goes back to the Shire. Kill me! Kill me now!!! Tying up loose ends I can appreciate but there's got to be a better way to go about it.
I loved the first two movies, so the fact that this one fell so far below par (for me, at any rate), really disappointed me, and most of it was due to the length of the film and the pacing. Waiting for the ghost army to show up had me screaming at the TV. Watching Frodo and Sam inch their way up the volcano had me frothing at the mouth. Again with Gollum and the ring at the very last minute!!! I get it, it's suspense. Quit hitting me over the head with it, already.
And now a little love to balance out the vitriol: I am so in love with the Hobbits. I've never considered myself a Hobbit girl (Legolas has my heart) but man alive, this was definitely their movie. I warmed up to them big time in the second one, but this one put me over. If I had to pick a favorite, it would be Pippin. Hobbit love makes me squishy.
Aragorn! Eeeeee! How sexy is he? Love the way he walks, that kind of "yeah, I'm bad" side to side moving thing he does. Not a swagger, but he definitely oozes confidence.
Legolas!!! How I love Legolas. I'm not sure what the difference was, but he looked even more gorgeous in this movie. I love his fight scenes because he's the baddest thing out there. It's no wonder he and Aragorn are sooper-sekrit boyfriends. Or maybe not so sooper-sekrit. ;-)
This movie is all about boylove. Sam and Frodo. Pippin and Merry. Gimli loves Legolas but sadly, Legolas belongs to Aragorn. And I can forgive Aragorn for being in love with Arwen the Elf girl because it's obvious that Legolas is his *true* love.
When Legolas comes to visit you know he and Aragorn disappear for a few days. Arwen's cool with it because she understands that you just can't fight the boylove.
There's three hours and 20 minutes of my life I won't get back. ::grrrr::
But before I jump into that, here's a PSA for anyone who missed JC's Faking the Video the first (second, eighty-fifth) times around - it's on again tonight at 8:30 p.m. Woohoo!
Cutting for those who still haven't seen it, or have no interest in my *fascinating* thoughts on this movie.
I read in someone's LJ - in comments to something else, I think - that if left up to them, they'd have trimmed a half hour off RotK. DUDE, why stop there? I could probably cut a good hour off the thing.
Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Too long, waaaaaay too long! I wonder if Peter Jackson just couldn't bear to let go? The thing won eleven Oscars and has been vindicated, but YIKES, that was way too long. He could have tightened it up, easily.
And I hate, hate, hate movies that end multiple times. There's no way I'm going to load it up to count, but there must have been at least four endings. Aragorn was crowned king. The Hobbits went back to the Shire. The Hobbits left the Shire. Bilbo and Frodo sail away with the Elves. Sam goes back to the Shire. Kill me! Kill me now!!! Tying up loose ends I can appreciate but there's got to be a better way to go about it.
I loved the first two movies, so the fact that this one fell so far below par (for me, at any rate), really disappointed me, and most of it was due to the length of the film and the pacing. Waiting for the ghost army to show up had me screaming at the TV. Watching Frodo and Sam inch their way up the volcano had me frothing at the mouth. Again with Gollum and the ring at the very last minute!!! I get it, it's suspense. Quit hitting me over the head with it, already.
And now a little love to balance out the vitriol: I am so in love with the Hobbits. I've never considered myself a Hobbit girl (Legolas has my heart) but man alive, this was definitely their movie. I warmed up to them big time in the second one, but this one put me over. If I had to pick a favorite, it would be Pippin. Hobbit love makes me squishy.
Aragorn! Eeeeee! How sexy is he? Love the way he walks, that kind of "yeah, I'm bad" side to side moving thing he does. Not a swagger, but he definitely oozes confidence.
Legolas!!! How I love Legolas. I'm not sure what the difference was, but he looked even more gorgeous in this movie. I love his fight scenes because he's the baddest thing out there. It's no wonder he and Aragorn are sooper-sekrit boyfriends. Or maybe not so sooper-sekrit. ;-)
This movie is all about boylove. Sam and Frodo. Pippin and Merry. Gimli loves Legolas but sadly, Legolas belongs to Aragorn. And I can forgive Aragorn for being in love with Arwen the Elf girl because it's obvious that Legolas is his *true* love.
When Legolas comes to visit you know he and Aragorn disappear for a few days. Arwen's cool with it because she understands that you just can't fight the boylove.
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no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 05:21 pm (UTC)Aiiiii! EXTENDED edition!? See, this one felt like the director's cut to me. 40 minutes more??? Now, if it's 40 minutes of the untold story of Aragorn and Legolas' sekrit love, well, I'm down with that. ;-)
My fave out of the three is TTT but RoTK is a close second.
I think that's my favorite too. The walking trees! I loved those, and that's where I learned to appreciate the Hobbits. Also, Legolas swinging around on that galloping horse while shooting arrows... ::le sigh::
no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 05:35 pm (UTC)Oh, who wouldn't?!!? Umm...rumour has it there might be some 'joke' reel where we see Legolas/Orlando vamping it up.
Also, Legolas swinging around on that galloping horse while shooting arrows... ::le sigh::
And don't forget the boarding incident down the stairs at Helm's Deep!!!
PS...you do know that the horse scene with the wargs is all cgi?
no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 07:01 pm (UTC)I know. :-) Doesn't detract from Legolas' bad assedness for me, though. :-)
no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 07:13 pm (UTC)I had to explain it to my parents that it really wasn't Legolas doing that trick. *sigh* Then again my dad thinks Legolas is too pretty to be a boy.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 07:17 pm (UTC)LOL! He's right. ;-)
no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 07:25 pm (UTC)He refuses to believe that Orlando Bloom is really Legolas;he can't get over the change in appearance. *snort* He wants to know why the cast was soooo close; he thinks there was some "shennagins going on".
Dad is good like that, nothing bothers him like pretty boys with pretty boys.