Twilight series update! Me reading the books, that is, not movie spoilers. Don't get excited.

[foxmonkey]

Holy friggin' maholey. I was on LJ hiatus when I finished the series. OH MY GOD, BREAKING DAWN. I wanted to break someone's face. Oddly enough, I did like the last book. So, hooray! I don't ever need to read that horrible series again with its bad!fic writing style in spots! "I muttered." "I mumbled." Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! KILL, KILL, KILL!!!

Speaking of bad!fic, Stephenie Meyer (sp? whatever) should be staked in the heart for every fangirl who now does the following:

1) "I saw him", blah blah blah. Dude, use his name.

2) Authors (HAHAHAHAHA, I use the term loosely) who don't seem to realize that 'said' is the most invisible word there is to indicate that someone is speaking. "I said." Simple, to the point, accurate. DAMN STEPHENIE MEYER TO ETERNAL DAMNATION for fic where every statement ends with "I muttered" or "I mumbled." Really?

I have for real and truly read fic where every single sentence used those two words, not a single 'said' in the bunch. Open a dictionary and see what those words mean, people! I'll bet a dollar to donuts that you're using them incorrectly! Stephenie Meyer has lead you astray! REJECT HER BADLY-WRITTEN TEACHINGS!!!!

Oy.

So, yes. So endeth my rants on these idiotic books.

Also, Robert Pattinson continues to be gorgeous.

JC!

Comments

[timberho.livejournal.com]

told you Breaking Dawn was like a bad fan fic.

[brighton-girl.livejournal.com]

She Mary-Sue's the shit out of those books doesn't she?

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

She Mary-Sue's the shit out of those books doesn't she?

Holy friggin' crap, I've never seen anything like it -- and hopefully never will again. A friend bought another book she wrote, science fiction I think? I can't wait for her to read it and give me the scoop.

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

told you Breaking Dawn was like a bad fan fic.

And that's a huge understatement!!!

Did you read that other one, the one from Edward's POV? No way I want to subject myself to that much pain and misery, but I would like to know what it's like.

[timberho.livejournal.com]

I read some of the rough draft. I think that Twilight would have been better from Edward's POV. Stephanie is a bitch though and won't release an official book because someone leaked the rough draft.

People returned Breaking Dawn to the store after they read it because they were so disappointed with it. I'm saving mine in case I need to make a fire with it.

[timberho.livejournal.com]

The Host. Chris read that. I vowed to never read a Stephanie Meyer book ever again.

[joeysdramaqueen.livejournal.com]

No, Chris did not. Chris read about 2 chapters of it and realized it was a piece of shit and wasn't worth wasting her time reading it.

[brighton-girl.livejournal.com]

I have read the rough draft that leaked. It's actually more interesting from Edward POV, because it gives some insight to why he's so drawn to her. But Stephanie is being a bitch about it.

[brighton-girl.livejournal.com]

Yet Chris has never read the brilliant Descent....hmmm.

[joeysdramaqueen.livejournal.com]

You hush. LOL

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

No, Chris did not. Chris read about 2 chapters of it and realized it was a piece of shit and wasn't worth wasting her time reading it.

ROFL!

So the science fiction book is craptastic as well!? See, now I'm really curious. Was it badly written, or just bad?

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

*GASP*! Woman, you still haven't read Descent??? READ IT!!!!!!!!! It's gooooooood!

[worldwouldend.livejournal.com]

Hah! I've never read the books all the way through, but I know enough about the plot that I was expecting this rant to be about that, not the writing itself. But I can't agree enough about this:

don't seem to realize that 'said' is the most invisible word there is to indicate that someone is speaking

Said! Just say they said it! Once in a while it is okay to mix it up, but mostly I can intuit whether someone gasped or exclaimed by the context and the dialogue without the action verb of the day.

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

Yet Chris has never read the brilliant Descent....hmmm.

I am shocked and appalled.

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

People returned Breaking Dawn to the store after they read it because they were so disappointed with it. I'm saving mine in case I need to make a fire with it.

SERIOUSLY!? That almost makes my misery worth while. I may have to Google some reviews. :-D <--[me, wearing a big EBIL smile]

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

Hah! I've never read the books all the way through, but I know enough about the plot that I was expecting this rant to be about that, not the writing itself. But I can't agree enough about this:

don't seem to realize that 'said' is the most invisible word there is to indicate that someone is speaking

Said! Just say they said it! Once in a while it is okay to mix it up, but mostly I can intuit whether someone gasped or exclaimed by the context and the dialogue without the action verb of the day.

YES! OH MY GOD, YES!!!! I read one just the other day -- though to be fair, I don't *think* she's a native speaker, at least I hope not! -- where everything is "I cried." There was one truly amazing sentence where the character both cried and whispered at the same time (no small trick!), but I can't remember now how she put it. Hmmmm, I'm almost COMPELLED to find it now. ::thinks::

edited to add -- Holy Lawd, she *is* a native speaker.

I know enough about the plot that I was expecting this rant to be about that

A friend and I spent an entire lunch hour ranting about the horrible message the books send to girls about living your life for some guy, needing a guy, etc. I ground my teeth down to nubs while reading those books. ::GRRRR::

[3-jane.livejournal.com]

Ha! YES. It's like 'said' took the last of the peanut butter and put the jar back without telling anyone, she has such a hate-on for it. And why? It's the Jeep of communication verbs, it goes everywhere. What did it ever do to her? (Seriously, SMeyer, muttering and mumbling and murmuring are like spices: you don't need to put a three ounce jar of sage in your chicken soup.)

Have to admit, though, I would read the daylights out of a fanfic where Bella actually did something during the blank months when Edward was gone. Masterminding a Ponzi scheme to defraud Medicare; taking a course in ninja cake decoration; cosplaying Amelia Earhart --- anything, I don't care what.

[liz-w.livejournal.com]

I gather a lot of fans disliked the book because they felt Bella was too "out of character". Since I despised Bella's character with the fiery passion of a thousand suns, I actually found her somewhat more bearable in the last book!

Really, I just want stories about Edward's vampire family, because they were by far the most interesting characters. Preferably written by someone else.

[foxmonkey.livejournal.com]

(Seriously, SMeyer, muttering and mumbling and murmuring are like spices: you don't need to put a three ounce jar of sage in your chicken soup.)

Sweet Jesu, yes. Also, I'm totally stealing that.


Have to admit, though, I would read the daylights out of a fanfic where Bella actually did something during the blank months when Edward was gone. Masterminding a Ponzi scheme to defraud Medicare; taking a course in ninja cake decoration; cosplaying Amelia Earhart --- anything, I don't care what.

ROFL! Hmmmmmm. I feel crack!fic coming on...

[jewelianna.livejournal.com]

I never actually took it out of the store- got a big coffee from Starbucks and read it in a comfy chair at B&N.

[joeysdramaqueen.livejournal.com]

I know I know. lol

[joeysdramaqueen.livejournal.com]

slooooowwwwwwww